One of the more difficult challenges you will be faced with in life is getting to know your true self, and accepting that person as is – with all the limitations and irritations that come with. Odds are you will never quite do so fully, but the journey is in itself more valuable than the destination.
There is no surefire way to recognise a person who has embarked on this path, but there is one telltale sign: there is a very distinct line dividing the valley of arrogance from the vale of confidence, and these two realms are what makes the difference palpable. People sometimes miss out on differentiating between the two, even though the line is not even a bit blurred.
Knights of confidence
Like valor, confidence is something internal, but which penetrates through the outer shell quite clearly. People who are confident are aware of themselves, their worth, their value, and know their own weaknesses. They may not flaunt them, but they know where the armour will crack the easiest.
These guys have a concrete goal and they are striving to reach it every day of their life. They answer to noone and feel no need to justify their actions to society at large. In no way are they rouges, simply confident enough to know they don’t need anyone else’s approval to live their own life the way they want to live it.
A confident man will never shy away from sharing his knowledge, knowing that he can only enrich someone else, never make himself poorer for it. He welcomes well meant criticism and tries to analyze it from every aspect, never failing to implement sound advice into his own mode of existence.
Outlaws of arrogance
Arrogant dudes can be easily spotted, as they have a constant need to blow their own horn about being the best, smartest, most agile, handsome and one of a kind bloody individual to grace the planet with his presence. No matter if they come in last, they are still kings of the jungle. Those who made it first will be endlessly berated and put down, just to inflate the bubble our arrogant friend is floating on.
Their goal is never to better themselves, only to stand tall on the backs of others. If they devoted only a small fragment of the time they spend on belittling others, they would have been taller than mountains by now.
Criticism comes hard to them, and they always erupt at it. They will never, ever admit to being in the wrong, only try to blacken the one who dares to criticise as much as they can, only more fully revealing how insecure they actually are.
A crash course to bettering yourself
Confidence is a fortress built over time, and mostly in the palace of the mind. Here are a few bricks to lay once you begin construction:
- Work on your body to sharpen your mind – appearance is far from everything, but once you start feeling better in your own skin, you will show it, too. Don’t work out to turn yourself into a Hulk, but to get your blood pumping and release some endorphins into your bloodstream.
- Dress to impress – not advocating you suit up, only that you adopt a style that fits your person, career, personality and pocket. Knowing you look your best will always be an instant confidence booster, and will greatly affect how people perceive you for the first time.
- Mind your manners – always be a gentleman first. Open doors for others, say “thank you” and “please”. Don’t jump into people’s sentences. Catch up on your etiquette, and turn it into a state of mind.
- Use technology to your advantage – don’t believe that Netflix is the height of human inventiveness. Start using apps like MyFitnessPal, Todoist, Lybrate, Duolingo, and anything else that comes to mind and which will not keep you entertained, but busy.
- Read – anything, basically. Try doing the Times crossword puzzle once in awhile. Make it your mission to solve the Sunday edition at least once in your life.
The road to confidence is paved by hard work, my friend. You may think you are just swell, but if you have nothing to show for it, you have migrated into the valley of arrogance, and are far away from the vale of confidence. Turn the rudder around and set sail in the opposite direction.
Author: Mathews McGarry
Mathews McGarry is passionate about many forms of strength training, and has spent years lifting, dragging and flipping all manner of heavy objects. After graduating from the Faculty of Health Sciences, he started writing about his experiences, and sharing tips for a better life. He is an all-around fitness adviser and his words are strong as an Australian Bull.